Mushu-ismybestfriend

Sierra

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Because I was drunk by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

Literature

Because I was drunk

(From multiple perspectives; all true stories of my loved ones) Because I was drunk I Felt happy for the first time in awhile, Called up an asshole; then said I mis-dialed, Got up the nerve to ask that one girl to dance, Decided to give my father a second chance, Told my ex's boyfriend that he should pop her cherry, Stole my mother's last bottle of sherry, Gave money to that one homeless man who smelled Or...maybe it was a woman, it was hard to tell, Then had a buddy drive us to Taco Bell, Passed out on the dance floor...twice Maybe thrice,

So I had to leave by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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So I had to leave

What you said "I Love you" I know you meant it (Didn't you?) Then you left And everything was Supposed to Go back Wasn't it? I could not let you go If I could just make you see What you somehow saw before Where did you go? As I continue to search You will humor me Because you feel guilty Please no more pity It only lasted a few weeks So maybe it wasn't real What I felt What I feel But then Things became so much more complex Maybe if it hadn't... I could've left Trying to make you jealous Yeah it backfired What transpired it should have been Me But you don't see anymore You're not alive anymore The empty shell

Reaction by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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Reaction

I know not who I am No longer where I stand I am not the product Only the reaction To when a person laughs And I laugh in time to a rhythmic drum Now it's my cue to smile While your speech is a gentle hum I can thaw the numb Always the daily reminder That this will never let me free I want to be Without the pawing doubt that shreds my sane thoughts Now is it due to the virgin hope That I wish to sabotage possible happiness? Is happiness not what I deserve? I am a slave with no master to serve Save this inner turmoil Which I seek to purge I long for nothing more than peace Can there not be a cease fire? I am so exhausted

Ashtray by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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Ashtray

Cigarette ashes Like whip's lashes, The gray haze Swirl with a finger to spell out the days Since you last had him, Meanwhile fill the 'tray to the brim Sit back and inhale and think Where it went stale; remember blink Now a swallow and a breath, Exhale, flick butts to the left (away from the cat) Then back to mouth in one fluid motion Each is another discarded notion No more warmth, no more laughter Time to face life after, In a moment though, One more before you go Then dab it out, Leave your thoughts where they lay Another memory best forgotten in an ashtray

Friendship Poems- Jill by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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Friendship Poems- Jill

There is a person that I know, She's a little astucious and self aware, Her commitment and opinion she bestows, My friend Jill is always there Never does she hesitate To stand up for what she believes, So much time she dedicates; She strives, overcomes and achieves Aside from academic excellence, And an opinionated disposition, I've seen a side of compassionate benevolence, A maternal instinct that has taken fruition My sullen demeanor is heavy and thickly overcast, She is the star that shines through, My desolate sky is vast, Yet no match, it overlaps into a blue hew Jill, I don't know how to thank you Don't know what else t

Don't trust me by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

Literature

Don't trust me

Listen! Do you not hear the warning bells wring? I warn you now If there is a song you must sing Let it not fall on my ears I am not your trustee I'm who you've always feared most Don't you see? This is not a boast When sneaking on you is a trepidation It is most likely due to my holding you Under the guise of settling your nerves in cessation This is your forewarning Those who constantly reassure you trust Are often the first to betray it I'm offering you a headstart Now, run!

Friendship Poems- Emily by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

Literature

Friendship Poems- Emily

Whenever I hear another referred to as Emily I refuse to acknowledge it, Because you are Emily And they are nobodys Emily, tell me How have these years escaped from me? Weren't we once 10, on the playground Standing 4 and a half feet? How many of those days did I let slip past, Soaking in self righteous sorrow? Instead of enjoying what then was now With you Thinking there would always be tomorrow? There is such recentness in our found closeness, And though for this I take responsibility, Let's not dwell on what I cannot change, Surrounded daily by your honesty, Fellow contept for idiocy, And a joking companion amidst Seriou

Cry for you by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

Literature

Cry for you

I guard my precious tears, No one can take them from me, There has not yet been a fear That could claim a flood of seas I take pride in that I am strong In whatever encounter I should face, Weakness and me just don't belong, So never was there a trace I then desired to drown The desert of my calloused, and parched entity, But the warm flecks say I am honorbound That apathy remain my identity I cannot cry for me; To evoke emotion would mean To regard the reasons worthy, And I have never been But today I cry for you Because you are suffering so, I didn't so that you would return the virtue Still they flow and wash away the s

Friendship Poems- Carmen by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

Friendship Poems- Ashley by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

Literature

Friendship Poems- Ashley

We haven't known eachother long So maybe I am wrong In what I'm thinking, But we have become good friends, haven't we? I don't like many; People are superficial, insecure and so annoying aren't they? But, hey I know you aren't that way, In this short time I've been such a lucky Party to see and get to know you as I have Thank you for that There are the random inside jokes; My reverance of the round one, Coloring books, Rachel needs to eat quotes, That get us quizzical looks You're leaving soon, That is so saddening to me, Please stay in touch, Because we've lost enough, haven't we?

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Because I was drunk by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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Because I was drunk

So I had to leave by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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So I had to leave

Reaction by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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Reaction

Ashtray by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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Ashtray

Friendship Poems- Jill by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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Friendship Poems- Jill

Don't trust me by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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Don't trust me

Friendship Poems- Emily by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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Friendship Poems- Emily

Cry for you by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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Cry for you

Friendship Poems- Carmen by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

Friendship Poems- Ashley by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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Friendship Poems- Ashley

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Hope by N0-R3AL-PR0BL3MS, literature

Frustration by l1-2-3l, literature

Literature

Frustration

No longer words to speak Rhythm flat-lined Like my heart I breathe. Air enters and leaves. I breathe. I breathe, I breathe, I breathe. I choke yet still, my throat constricts. I panic. My chest tightens; my eyes widen My hands open wide at my sides Splayed desperately To grip to something tangible, Real. Reliable. The urge to give into the madness Peaks, ebbs and abates Despair withheld. The eyes of mine close Shutting off the shocked bright white. Calmness returns And a small breathe rushes in Satisfying. Turned to gasps; relief to breathe And live. Shaking and rocking ensues, Gladly With childish sad happy tears.

Holding on by slowlydies, literature

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So I had to leave by Mushu-ismybestfriend, literature

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So I had to leave

Mushu-ismybestfriend

About Mushu-ismybestfriend

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Artist

June 13
United States
Deviant for 13 years
She / Her

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My Bio

So hey there! I've been on deviantart for 8 months and have finally decided to write a bit about myself. Perhaps because it's Day of Silence and I feel the need to let my thoughts out somehow.

I'm a 18 year old queer female who loves to listen and be the shoulder to lean on. Most days. Sometimes I get a little edgy when the sentiment isn't reciprocated, but for the most part I love to. And even if I don't that particular moment I'll be there anyway. Weird? Yes. Potatoes are the best food on the planet, just sayin'. I write poems mostly to get my thoughts in order and try to determine what exactly it is that I am feeling. Not the best at it but hey I persevere! I have depression, among other things I'm sure that have just never been diagnosed. For the moment, though I am feeling rather good about life and all of its possibilities.

Hm what else...I am big on gay rights and just human rights in general. In my opinion everyone has the right to be happy. And be happy how they deem fit unless it should conflict with another's rights. So yeah. I care about the world, I am determined to do my part to change it for the better in anyway I can. My first choice would be to be able to go to 3rd world countries and help out but should that not work out my next choice would be psychiatry. I am big on laughter both to uplift the spirits and cynically. I'm a bit insecure but I'm working on it.

Probably will add on to this later.

Current Residence: In this diseased mind
Favourite genre of music: Good Music

Favourite Movies

Mean Girls

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Tracy Chapman, Florence and the Machine

Favourite Books

The book called "Nothing" by Janne Teller

Favourite Writers

Sylvia Plath

Other Interests

reading, writing, just chilling

Posts

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Mushu-ismybestfriend

Jun 26, 2011

New Deviations

0 min read

Uhm....I kind been drawing a blank. So to the 3 or so people who read my stuffs I apologize.

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Mushu-ismybestfriend

May 8, 2011

Despite it all...

0 min read

I'm ok. And that's the difference I think. Before, one thing could go wrong and like a domino effect I'd let everything go to hell. There's some stuff, no doubt. I most likely won't graduate, but can't bring myself to fully grasp what this means. I'm just...letting it happen. And every now and then I feel the self hatred swell within me once again, but then I quash it and collect myself. I'm trying, I really really am. I would have liked to think I came back from Snowball a brand new person, but that's idiotic. I'm still me, just with new insight. But at this point I'm not sure what to do. And everyone is leaving, going off to school..and th

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Mushu-ismybestfriend

Apr 4, 2011

Operation Snowball 2

0 min read

So I went to this leadership program. It makes me want to laugh, calling it that, because really it was so much more than that. And I can't explain it. I don't know exactly the moment when we went from being observers (the other students and I) to being in the thick of things, and a family. Even the people whose names I never learned (and that was more than half) there was such a calm, and such honesty. It was like we could let ourselves actually breathe, and we didn't have to put on an act for eachother. The moment when I knew for sure the entire atmosphere had changed was walking back from the bathroom to the mess hall. A girl just started